A few weeks ago, Brittany asked me how I was feeling about becoming a mom of two kiddos. Here are my thoughts at this point.
At the start of this pregnancy I was nervous about the idea of watching Lula and a newborn. The first three months with Lula were wonderful, hard, and hormonal.When I think back to the first trimester of this pregnancy, much of the anxiety I felt about taking care of two kids came from a place of nausea and exhaustion.
Simple things like changing a diaper or taking a quick trip to the grocery store felt like monumental jobs.
As I’ve moved into the third trimester–how is that even possible–I feel really excited about having Lula and a newborn to look after.
One, I think I have to feel that way or I am not going to survive.
Two, I have so much more experience now that I’ve been through it already. I really struggled with feeling isolated in those first three months with Lula. I was home alone with a baby who slept, ate and cried.
My poor husband barely got in the door after work and I was sharing every last detail of my day with him.
I feel comforted knowing that this time around, I have company!Since Lula turned one, she has developed quite the personality and other than my husband and sister, she’s my best buddy. We spend every single day together, I hope we like each other.
Although she will only be 22 months old when Baby 2 is born, I plan on putting her to work by entertaining the baby when I need to rinse out a diaper, prepare a meal, etc. (Feel free to think I am suffering from delusions)
Three, BABYWEARING.Earlier in the year I wrote a post about this topic and received many great suggestions. I am seriously planning on wearing this baby all the time. I wore Lula whenever we ran errands or took walks and that worked extremely well. I plan on wearing Baby 2 at home, as well as out and about. This will be a necessity.
Four, flexibility with working out. I know already that one of the biggest changes to my life will be finding time to exercise. When Lula was born, I had grand visions for how I was going to fit my runs in during the day. We have a treadmill so all I needed was her cooperation. She had the option of taking a nap or sitting in the Babysitter Balance while I ran 3-4 miles.
Oh, Kelly…you were so naive. The handful of times I tried to do this were almost all disastrous. She woke up after I ran for 8 minutes. She wouldn’t stop crying when I put her in the Balance. Every time I tried to make a run happen and it was a failure, I was angry and frustrated. Not at Lula, but at the circumstances I found myself in…all my own choices.
Over time–and after taking many long walks with Lula when running didn’t pan out–I realized that if I wanted to run, I had to do so before Lula woke up in the morning. In the early days, this meant that I was up for the day at 4:30. I nursed Lula–sort of a morning dream feed–ran on the treadmill, and showered.
Was I tired? Yes! Did I feel a sense of accomplishment and have a better frame of mind when I made those runs happen? Absolutely.
This time around, I’m going to try very hard to give myself more of a break about returning to running.Exercise is a very important part of who I am as a person and it always will be. However, I don’t want it to rule my life the way it did when Lula was tiny. My focus is going to be on my children. If that means I get more sleep (HA) skipping runs for awhile and taking long walks with my kiddos later in the day, so be it.
Finally, since becoming pregnant, I have discovered quite a few bloggers who are new mommies of two or who are about to have their second child. Frankly, a lot of their twitter feeds make me nervous.
From older children acting out due to less attention to an exhaustion that I cannot yet comprehend, the experiences other mothers shared have weighed on my mind.
Over time, I have found comfort in the simple fact that women have been doing this for centuries and kids–and moms–survive.
There are so many things about having two kids that I can’t possibly wrap my head around until I experience them for myself. I hope that maintaining a positive attitude and attempting to keep perspective will allow me to make it through the first six weeks without too many tears.
Have a great weekend!