Well, it’s been a few weeks since we’ve started our adventure of not nursing Lula to sleep at night. So, how is it going? When I first started drafting this post, it was going surprisingly well. Then as I made changes to the post, it got really bad and we were close to giving up. Now, I think we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Let me explain…
Here’s the deal- Lula and I are attached at the hip. All.day.long. She loves her Pa, she knows her Pa, she is very comfortable with her Pa, but she does not want him to put her to bed.
She has definitely accepted that she is no longer being nursed to sleep and for the first few days after that came to a screeching halt, I was still putting her to bed most nights and if she needed some comfort, Pa and I took turns heading into the nursery to chat with her, sing to her, etc. She fussed a little, as I noted in an earlier post, but it was tolerable.
Now, Pa is doing all of it- getting her to wind down, bringing her to bed, and calming her down when she inevitably becomes worked up. This has been really hard- for both of them. A week ago, I was gone for her bedtime (attending a graduation) and with about fifteen minutes to go before putting Lula down for the night, he realized he didn’t have pajamas at her changing station. He walked with her back to the nursery to grab a pair and she started SCREAMING. He got the pajamas, they came back out into the living room and she calmed down again. Clearly, she is very aware of the routine.
Almost every night, we’ve questioned if it’s worth it…should I just start nursing her back to sleep again? Should I just be the one to take care of bedtime from here on out?
But it’s kind of like standing in a long line to get something I really want. After about fifteen minutes of standing there, if I leave, I will have wasted my time and if I stay, I might have to wait a while longer but in the end, it will have been worth it (I hope)!
Additionally, I want her to be less attached to my being her sole source of comfort when she gets fussy. Pa is gone for long chunks of the day so it makes sense that she is used to me but that doesn’t mean she can’t be soothed by him.
I almost don’t want to write this for fear I will jinx us but I think we may have turned a corner this past Saturday night- it was the same routine as always and there was less than ten minutes of fussiness after Pa put her to bed. Since then, it’s still going well.
This whole situation is not the end of the world- in fact, if I am in the right frame of mind, it’s not a big deal at all! Especially when I read about other parents struggling with far more serious problems. On the whole, I feel like we are moving in the right direction.
Is it really possible that one day she will be going to bed on her own with no tears? Tell me it’s true! 
To answer your question: Yes. It is true. She will go to bed on her own although it might take long/er for her, she will get to this point for sure.
Thank you! Somewhere in me, I know it, it’s just hard to imagine right now!
She will get there! It sounds like (like you said) she’s already turning the corner to be ok with it. When David is home, he puts H to bed. I love that it is their special time to snuggle, read and go to bed, especially because she is with me all day long (like you and Lula).
You’re doing great; keep at it!
Thank you so much for the encouragement! Part of the reason I wanted to stick with this was because of one of your recent posts about Hailey’s bedtime routine- I love the idea of Daddy having that special time with her and a little bit of freedom for me!
I put cassidy to bed every single night. She has been put to bed 1 time by someone other than myself. I know that ties me to her, but honestly, I am ALWAYS with her anyway. I did the same thing with Alyssa since I nursed her until 14 months. Once they got closer to 1 though, they didn’t need it, it just made it a little easier. I didnt want to go through all that difficulty when I was home to nurse every night anyway. But if you can do it and stick with it, it would be nice for your husband to have that time. My kids both love my husband but bedtime is just something only Mommy can do. He doesnt “do it the way Mommy does”. My kids are on such a schedule too that if he puts a diaper on after turning on her sound machine instead of before it somehow messes them up! We do have a differnet situation with him being gone for work so much though.
Thank you so much for posting your experience- it really helps to know that this is your routine. We are considering “caving” and just going back to me nursing her to sleep or at least putting her to bed at night- it seems like it is less traumatic for all three of us when that happens.
It’s also nice to know that around one year it gets easier…