How can it already be six months since I gave birth?

How can it only be six months since I gave birth?

It feels like the past six months flew by, but also took forever.  I guess it is because having a newborn is as Emily said, (and I’m paraphrasing), a sometimes hour to hour experience.  In the first month or two, I remember whenever Pa was close to arriving home from work, I would watch for his car at the windows while I tried to keep my teeny baby happy, so starved was I for adult interaction and some help.

Lately, things have gotten a lot easier and for new mommas who wonder if you will survive, you will, I promise! 

What has Lula been up to lately?

She has accomplished rolling over!  She only does it from back to front, typically rolling to her right.  She doesn’t know how to roll back so once her neck gets tired, it’s over.

Knock on wood, she hasn’t started rolling in her crib and we are hoping she skips this “fun time” all together.

She can’t sit up on her own but if we are helping her, she can sit-slump, especially if she uses her hands to support herself.

She is definitely teething and we have had a few rough patches.

I can tell when she is in pain due to teething because her cry is different- it’s hard when I can’t help her and she is imploring me to with her accusatory eyes.  We have a bunch of different teething toys I keep in the freezer and those have helped her- and me- immensely.

I hear more babble from her nowadays.  She does it a lot when she isn’t interacting with me or Pa- lots of bababa or dadada.  Sometimes I swear she says “hi” but I know that’s impossible.  Occasionally when she is crying, she will begin to babble and stop crying completely so it’s promising to know she is learning to use other methods to communicate her feelings.

She smiles a lot and is a pretty happy baby!I remember in those first six weeks thinking her disposition was going to be fussy for life- I chuckle now because she was just learning to acclimate to life outside the womb!  The lack of perspective I had as a new mom is dumfounding.

 

She enjoys sucking in her breath while making sounds, seeing if I notice her and if I laugh, she seems pleased and does it again. She has also started wrapping her arms around my neck when I pick her up and burrowing her little face into me- love this!!!

She naps in her crib twice a day.  From 9-10:30 in the morning and from 3:30-4:30 in the afternoon.  I nurse her to sleep for her naps.  I know some experts say that is a horrible crutch but I’m not worried about it.  She also snoozes a little bit around 1 o’clock.  If we are home at that time, she will take a 20 minute catnap while nursing, if we are strolling, she may sleep in the stroller, or if we are running errands, she sleeps on the drive home.

In terms of nighttime, although we struggled with DST, overall she is a very good overnight sleeper.  See here for our current nighttime routine.

I know I am really lucky with her sleep schedule- it’s been almost two months since I’ve gotten up in the middle of the night to tend to her (okay, so I had a 3 AM wake-up call since I typed the first draft of this post) but I still feel fortunate.  She will wake up frequently overnight and thrash her legs up and down on her mattress- perhaps she is working on her core?  Our bedroom is across the hall from hers and the thrashing sounds like a crappy stereo system in some teenage boy’s car…she doesn’t cry or babble, she just thrashes her legs and then…silence.

She is not a big fan of playing independently for too long.  Once she sees me after she has been playing nicely on her own, it’s over!  I keep her in the Babysitter Balance (thanks to Rhodeygirl for posting about this long ago) a lot while I do things- hang laundry, make lunch, eat lunch, bake, cook, clean, sew, put away groceries, etc.  She lasts 20-25 minutes in the BB.I try to take her on one outing a day.  Our adventures include going to places like Wal-Mart, Sam’s Club, Target, the dry cleaners, the recycling center, lunch with Daddy, stroller walks, stroller runs, and the library.

I would like to take her to a waterbabies class but they are pretty expensive.  I’m concerned that she won’t be a fan and I will have shelled out all that money for nothing.  Since the pool will be opening up soon, maybe I’ll just go there and help her get comfortable in the water.

I’ve never gotten her to embrace the bottle and we tried three different kinds.  This was a very stressful situation until my six week postpartum appointment.  I mentioned the trouble we had been having to my doctor and he stated that there were worse problems to have.  That put things in perspective and after that, I accepted it.  I am curious to see what she would do now since she knows how to suck her tri-vi-sol down but it isn’t an issue anymore.  My mom said I refused to take a bottle so like mother, like daughter I guess.

Having Lula has been one of the best things that has ever happened to me.  I love her more every day, I miss her whenever she is out of my sight, and I worry about her more than I ever thought was possible.

Although it’s gotten better, I have had some ridiculous anxiety about her going to kindergarten, being in a situation where I can’t protect her, someone being mean to her, etc.  I expect that anxiety and worry related to her will ebb and flow for the rest of my life.

Without getting too deep, being a mom has changed me more than I ever imagined it could.  I feel like my emotional side has been fully tapped into since giving birth.  I have to turn off the TV  when a story about harmed children is on the news.  These types of stories have always been hard to stomach but now I start freaking out about the what ifs in our world- what if something happens to Lula?  I have slowly been learning, with Pa’s help, that I just.can’t.go.there.

I cry a lot more. A few examples of what brings this on?  Me and Lula are headed somewhere in the car, I glance in my rearview mirror and see her tiny hands in her “rearview mirror” and I tear up.  Certain songs?   It’s too much!  This one (although it is a really cheesy video) and this one are especially hard to handle.  I’m not sad, I’m crying because of all the happiness and beauty and joy that take place in this life!

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”  ~Elizabeth Stone

Thank you for the best six months of my life Lula.  I love you.